The beauty of being away from people you love is that you hold on only to the good memories of moments that made you smile. The bad and unhappy matters just don't seem important enough to remember.
The beauty of being alone is that I am fully responsible for myself and I have no excuse to blame anyone for my shortfall, bad judgment or crappy decisions. I am stronger now too, because I just have to.
Despite the distance, friendships and kinship can still be strengthen over different hemispheres or timezones. Expectations have to be calibrated as people don't stop evolving and no one owes you a living. You carve out your own life yourself. I now know that i cannot expect my loved ones to love me the way i want to be loved, nor love me as much I think I love them. There's no way to quantify this love.
Saving what i earned is important. I used to believe that I should spend every cent i earned so that if i die tomorrow, I am happy as no one gets to spend my money but myself. How wrong I was. I didn't die yesterday, and I have to plan what to do with tomorrow today. I am eternally grateful to people who trusted me and lent me support to carve out what I want here. I now know the importance of saving, no matter how little I'm earning now.
That no job is beneath me as long as i make an honest living. I used to wait on tables, had a stint as a kitchen-hand, washed dishes and toilets @ a Japanese book cafe, moved to Germany to be an au pare (even if it was totally depressing!), co-ordinated photoshoots in a mortuary for three years, worked as a secretary - what else can i not do?
Living with lesser is not necessarily short-changing myself. I can't indulge in my monthly/weekly travels nor can I indulge in a $259 degustation menu at my whim and fancy anymore. So I make do with more reading, writing and making plans within my budget. Am i any poorer? I don't feel that way.
If people treat me badly, it's not my problem as they are the ones with issues to deal with, and I must understand that everyone has a battle to fight. While I have my rights to be treated properly as a human being, I also have the option to stay away if I don't like how I'm being treated. I am solely responsible for how I want to feel.
My mistakes and wrongdoings in life won't be erased but I can make amends by learning from it, and be a better person.
If detachment doesn't work for me, then I have to compartmentalise the good and the bad and work through it to not let it fester into something worst.
I believe in God(s) and I must not complain how difficult things are because I've always been given what I've asked for (so far).
Friends may disappoint me, family members may be toxic & hurtful and the world may be cruel but I am still thankful for the experiences I've had so far - and for the experiences that I don't have to go through to know better.
Life's good when I am tasked with a purpose, no matter how small this purpose may be.
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Being grateful is indeed, the best way to feel joy.
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